Last night, I found myself at a house party with a handful of friends. While people all around me chatted away in the kitchen, my mind drifted to the fact that the next morning I would be flying home from the three month sabbatical that allowed me to circle the globe with my fiancé Tehillah. During our travels through South Africa, Europe and SE Asia we lived with no cellular access, only occasional wifi in hotels and cafes, and I didn’t participate in a single work call or meeting until returning stateside.
My friend Sean looked at me and asked, “So what did you learn on the trip?”
“What do you mean?” I said.
“I want to know what you learned. Did you learn anything new about solar, wind, compost?” he pressed.
My mind went completely blank. Truthfully, I hadn’t cared to seek out anything new about those spaces. This trip was about something entirely different. I went on this trip to learn how to be truly, profoundly happy. And to tell you the honest truth, that’s what happened.
I didn’t end up addressing Sean’s question right away, but now that I’ve had time to reflect, I have some answers.
Here is what I learned
I learned that my day is much better when the first thing I reach for in the morning is my fiancé rather than my phone.
I learned that checking Facebook, Instagram and Twitter when I lay awake restlessly in the middle of the night has never once helped me back fall asleep.
I learned to play one song on repeat during a special moment, so that I could perfectly recount every sensory part of that experience later by listening to that one track again.
I learned that carrying a Jenga set for months in a backpack is worth the weight.
I learned to stop beating myself up when I make a mistake because life will do that for me.
I learned that laughter is life’s most valuable currency. (click to Tweet this).
I learned that sadness takes many forms, but all of them are conquerable.
I learned that every person I encounter is fighting an important battle that day too. (click to Tweet this).
I learned that simplicity is difficult to discover.
I learned that fewer relationships means deeper relationships.
I learned that listening intensely is a more important skill than speaking immensely. (click to Tweet this).
I learned that small acts of personal generosity are just as meaningful as big ones.
I learned to value the wisdom of those who came before me and the audacity of those who will come after me.
I learned how lucky I am to have the sister, brothers, mom and dad that I do.
I learned that a higher power resides in everything we do, see and experience.
I learned that I’m ready to be a husband but not yet ready to be a father.
I learned that true love between two people is sacred and holy and worthy of worship.
I learned that the only constant in life is that every day we can evolve by learning.
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Ha! Mark Steyn, headline: …Unless a Spontaneous Movie Review Breaks OutYesterday I went to see Taken 2, one of those films in which Liam Neeson spends 90 minutes gunning down half the inhabitants of a foreign city.Funniest line:“Go to the US Embassy. You’ll be safe there.â€
Purabi Das
Hi Adam,
The 18 truths that every real traveller can relate to post of yours resonates with me. I am a freelance writer, when my husband and I travel it’s always for pleasure and to wind down. During my travels, which we do extensively, I hardly ever write, never carry a cell phone, check emails only when a device is available at the hotel we are staying. I guess you do the same. I feel happy and relaxed this way and ready to take on my responsibilities with greater vigour upon returning home.
I am enjoying your posts. Thank you.
Best wishes,
Purabi
Jaime Mejia
your story has motivate me to develop and made it come to life an idea that i have for several years in order to help many and change the world by creating a passion to help in every person and the way to do it
Mary
Thanks Mr. Adam, you are really a blessing to many. Keep up the great work. God bless you and your family in all your doing!!
Amelia Stange
Must also mention that I admire that you take a break… and set up a balance in life… what you are doing can be consuming …. Richard Branson always impressed me by how he makes time for his family… and fun…. If you are in for the long run you must be wise to take care of you….. and those you love dearly.
Thank you for sharing your insights… you are generous in many ways.
Ann Marie
Adam that is amazing. Those insights are so applicable for an actual traveller or someone like me who travel with our minds due to circumstances. Thank you so much. I also appreciated what you learned in your “20s”. So much to think on & say thanks for.
Daphne Abeng
Thank you for sharing the words Adam. I really love reading your book and it’s inspired me a lot. Last trip I was traveling in a rural area in Thailand, and I did the same thing asking the same questions. Those kids do kids similar answer to me. Instead of asking for big things, they asked for book.
Thank you Adam for the inspirations.
Cameron
Just returned from a trip to India, and I agree with you wholeheartedly. Learned so much about myself and other people from travelling.
Adam
Yes! Hope you enjoyed http://amzn.to/1z7ZLRb too. Also, give The Alchemist a read as well.
Cameron
Enjoyed the Pencils of Promise book quite a lot. There’s a lot to learn from your story, thanks for sharing it.
I’ll have to check out the Alchemist soon.
Adam
You’ll love it Cameron.
Cameron
Just finished reading the Alchemist. While I was initially a little apprehensive of the spiritual tone, I actually rather enjoyed it, and it was useful in making a large decision recently. Thanks for the recommendation.
Adam
Awesome to hear.
Amelia Stange
Re Read the Prologue to the Alchemist on the train from Vientiane to Bangkok…. transcribed it word for word in my journal because I knew what it said was going to come in handy as I embark on my purpose… and I was right… have referenced it more times than I can remember… great read…. don’t miss this part!
Michelle @ Modern Acupuncture Volunteering
Thanks for this list, Adam! I agree that travel is life-changing. When I traveling Europe with friends about 6 years ago, we went without cell phones, and obsessive social media checking and re-checking was not yet a thing. I often daydream of the chance to revisit those days, when all we had to worry about was catching the train, and there seemed like to much more silence and laughter (somehow both) in my life. The next time I go to Europe, it will definitely be sans-cell phone and sans-social media. Freedom 🙂
Adam
Freedom for sure 🙂
Nikita
Hello Adam,
So glad to came across your blog. Great people do say that by associating yourself with great people you can too be like them, and i can realize it more deeper now. Thanks for sharing your insights with the world.
Thanks ! and all the best for everything.
Adam
Good call Nikita, hope you’re surrounding yourself with great people as well.
Lorena Oviedo
After traveling since 2001 there was a period where I wasn’t able to return to my country and meet my family again. Those 4 years without seeing them were horrible.
When I saw them again, they looked different and I cried like crazy because I felt I was talking to strangers. Since that experience I promise myself to enjoy every single minute with my amazing family. Once I have the chance to see them, we laugh and have fun like kids. I’m 31 now my mum 64, and I can’t wait to see her again, while I wait until that day arrive, I bought her a tablet and taught her how to skype! I bless technology and life because through traveling I learned that my mum is simply my best friend!
Adam
Sounds like an amazing mom Lorena!
Julia Blues
I do agree with each of the lessons you learned. Life is so short and when we can take the time to reflect on those truths, we can make the best out of each second we have in our lifetime. Traveling has a way of revealing this nuggets to us.
Adam
Hope you’ve had some great travels too.
C.F.
Thank you, Adam, for your dedication, goodness, and sharing your gifts with the world.
Adam
Thank you for reading CF!
Kate
Hi Adam
Im not sure anyone is ever ready to be a father. Pretty sure most men would say they weren’t right up until the moment they were.
Don’t over think this one. You are wise and clever and brave. You will be a great father. Life is short and there is never a “right” moment to become a parent. But looking in on your adult journey so far I would bet you will love sharing it with your kids and wonder why you took so long.
Be warned though if you think the ride has been wild so far, buckle up.
Ive really enjoyed your book and heard you on the radio here in NZ. I have a plan to get 50 kids here to raise the $ for a a school. So you will be hearing from us.
Thanks again for your inspiration. Kate
Adam
Love the advice Kate, I’ll definitely take it to heart. And email Rachele at raidala@pencilsofpromise.org so she can help organize your school efforts.
Abdul
That’s a crecrakjack answer to an interesting question
Thom
Adam. Do you have a concise version of your world view somewhere? The essentials you hold in high esteem make me curious.
Adam
I tried my best to capture it in my book, but this is my Dad’s favorite poem and I think it captures things pretty well – http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/175772
Sarah Kate
What a sentimental and honest read. Thank you for sharing, Adam! I particularly relate to #3 and #8. My husband and I often listen to a song on repeat for the memory it evokes.
All the best to you and your fiancé in this exciting chapter of life. Marriage is so beautiful and fun (!!!)—marrying your best friend is one of the best gifts in life!
Adam
Thanks Sarah Kate, we’re actually now married and you’re 100% right 🙂
Alyssa
More is not always better. I live life by my own rules but sometimes question myself by societies standards. A little sigh of relief left me when I read this and feel as though there are other people out there like me 🙂
“I learned that fewer relationships means deeper relationships.”
Thank you.
Adam
For sure Alyssa, I need to remind myself of that on a daily basis.
Aly
wow… thank you for sharing this.
Adam
my pleasure Aly
Amonise
The post below is mines. Auto text used your name instead of mines.
Sheira Brayer
Thank you, Adam! What a gift to be able to dis-connect like that! It allows you to be truly present with everyone and everything around you – – and listen to your intuition. No wonder you came away with such pearls of wisdom! Thank you so much for sharing them!
I do hope to meet you one day, as our passions and heritage overlap in many interesting ways. My dad, like your “Ma”, is a Holocaust survivor who lost his whole family at 14 years old (in Turka, Poland). He’s my hero and inspiration! And he’s still totally ‘with it’ – going to the gym every day at 86 years old!!! He’s the cutest!
I’m in NY if there’s a chance for us to connect! Let me know. And thanks, again!
Sarah Kate
Wow, Sheira–my grandmother is a Polish Holocaust survivor. What an amazing testament to courage and perseverance!
Sheira Brayer
Wow, Sarah! Thank you so much for reaching out! That’s amazing! I’m always so interested in hearing other people’s stories. Do you have it documented somewhere? My father has an incredible story (that I hope to turn into a movie someday). He wrote a book called “Hiding In Death’s Shadow” – he survived in the forest for over 2 years! We actually went back in 2009 as a family – a major highlight of my life!
You can reach me at sheira@sheirabrayer.com. I’d love to know more if you’d like to share.
Thanks, again, and have a great one!
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Thank you so much for sharing your well put together websites!
Adam
I absolutely love your book Adam. The part about your grandmother is particularly touching. It speaks of the hopes and dreams of the ones who came before us. I am a child of immigrants who are uneducated but managed to do the best that they could for us. My goal is to build two schools in Haiti dedicated in their names. Thank you for sharing your light.
Adam
Thanks Adam, best of luck on the adventure ahead.
Caro
That’s the perefct insight in a thread like this.
Liz
I would like to know to what equivalent grade level the schools go.
Adam
If you’re asking about Pencils of Promise schools, they go up to primary school (usually 5th grade) and then our scholarship programs support children through secondary school. You can learn more at http://pencilsofpromise.org/programs/results-innovation/
Amel
I had a rather hard time cshnoiog just one type of physician I would want to work for. So many of them fascinate me, and with me not really going into any medical field other than support, I never gave this any thought in the past. After reading the list, I am more favorable of working for a neonatologist. It is difficult to think about how neonatologist physicians sometimes have the most difficult job in the world, but I can only imagine how amazing it would be to be a part of saving a baby’s life. I had a coworker once whose baby was born at 36 weeks, and her baby had a lot of heart and lung problems. There were concerns about whether or not they would ever fully develop once she had him, but after many months in the NICU, and many scares that happened during it, the doctors were able to save him and he is now a very healthy 5 year old. It is because of that I have a higher interest in the neonatologist field.I hate to say which type of physician I would care less to work for, and it is because I worry that many will take it the wrong way. When I was 16, I used to help my mom at an assisted living home as a caregiver. We would get to work at 7:00 A.M. every morning to prepare breakfast for four of the elderly men and women that we were caring for. We would then make sure that all bedding was changed, rooms were cleaned, meals were prepared, and appointments were handled. We worked 12 hour days, and they were always grueling. The owner of the home made sure that everyone had their medicine and made it to their doctor appointments on time. However, she was more worried about getting paid for her services than actually helping the elderly. She would yell at them if they did something wrong, and even call them terrible names. My mom reported her and we both quit our job, but it has always left a sting in my heart since then. It is because of my experience with that situation that I do not think I could ever work for a gerontologist. I know that the situations would be much different, but ever since my experience with caring for elderly individuals it is very hard for me to think about assisting a physician in geriatrics because I worry that someone else might treat the elderly in the same way the owner of the home did. I am a firm believer that the elderly deserve the ultimate care and comfort when going through any treatment and aging in general, but I do not think I could ever work in that environment again.
Debrah
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Susie Goldsmith
Adam,
Thank you for sharing! Everything you wrote was beautiful and inspiring!
Love,
Susie
jessesolomonscott
Thank you for sharing wise words.much love.
Jimbo
Son of a gun, this is so heuplfl!
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Yep, some sort of generic chemical-y looking thing.Also, the brain scans are pointless without some sort of explanation. Consider those two aspects as decorative. 😉
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I was expecting a little more on the yumness scale with regards to the offerings at the festival. The Apam Balik was interesting, the Pisang Goreng nice and Mamak roti was, well, like Mamak roti.The queue at the Panang Hawker stall (place that sold the char quoy teow) in my eyes was a travesty considering what you got.
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Really looking forward to trying these out!! Love Thirsties but sticking with two parters until baby is a bit bigger. Just makes the anticipation stronger!
Dick Hillenbrand
Just re-reading this brother Adam…and thank you so much for sharing. I learned that you’re a pretty awesome dude…well, actually, I lied…I already knew that. Much love.
Adam
Thanks Dick, sending lots of love your way.
Norman Belmonte
Adam,
Wise beyond your years. Well said.
Adam
Thank you so much Norman, I hope you’re doing well. We’ll have to get lunch and catch up soon!
carlye adler (@carlyeadler)
Beautifully done, Adam. It sounds like the perfect sabbatical and may these discoveries stay with you always. Thanks for sharing. And, welcome back.
Ellen
What great lessons to have learned. Thank you for sharing them because you have spoken these words so eloquently and although many I know, many I have just remembered again, many I am happy to have learned from you. When life has a way of pulling you away, come back to these lessons and remember them always. Wisdom…..you’ve got it!
Adam
Much appreciated Ellen, so glad these resonated!
Tim Foster
Well said, Adam.
Fritzi
Adam, you are wise. Proud of you.
XO
Fritzi
Adam
Thanks so much Fritzi, appreciate you.